Internet, The Blog that Wasn't and Winter Preparations

Bolsa Chica path . . . makes you wonder 
what's around the corner, doesn't it?

I don't have the story I wanted to be able to tell you about, but . . I'll get to that later.  So, instead, for now, I will start out by saying I like photos in a post.  I just really like looking at nice photos and I am thinking that you may, too.  But, this post is one that I don't really have pics of to post . . . so, I am going to take you on a little walk with me through the Bolsa Chica wetlands while we chat.  I want to have some nice things for you to look at while you are listening to my little stories here!  I hope you don't mind.

Some of the grasses around the Bolsa Chica wetlands

So, how do you drive a person crazy (or punish them - depending on your purpose) in this day and age without resorting to violence or anything that will get you arrested?  Why, easy!  Just ask any teen, you simply take away their phone and internet for a week!  OMG!  Ten years ago, I probably wouldn't have even blinked twice at that possibility.  But, 2 weeks ago, I got home from work and as always, the first thing I did was try to check my email.  I have gotten so used to it always being available, . . . you just go to the computer and magically, it is just there . . . just waiting for me!  But, that night, I got . . . nuthin!  I kept getting the message that I wasn't connected to the internet!  What? ? ? ?  It was like someone telling me that I wouldn't be able to breath between 10 and 11pm or something!  It just didn't seem real!  I kept trying and trying and kept getting no connection.  It didn't occur to me right away to actually check the phone lines!  So, by the time I got so frustrated I was ready to call the tech support line, I think I was frothing at the mouth over withdrawals already!  And, when I did finally pick up the phone, I was stunned to find . . . silence.  Total silence!  Where the heck did the dial tone go?

Bolsa Chica ground squirrel . . . isn't he cute?

Well, remember my previous posts about my escapades building my patio?  Specifically, that little incident with sort of digging through my phone line and that someday if I stayed here long enough that it would come back to haunt me . . .  Wel-l-l-l-l-l, that was the first thing that popped into my head.  I had been having some static on the line for a while now, and I sort of recall that somewhere along the line (no pun intended), I had been told that moisture in the lines can cause static.  And, when they had repaired the line, they just put a little plastic-looking doo-hickey over the ends of the cut line and left it for me to rebury.  It was definitely NOT water-proof looking.  Soooooo, I immediately thought the worst.  I thought maybe it was water-logged and shorted out or whatever happens to water-logged phone lines, and I was just sure they were going to tell me they were going to have to dig up my patio to repair it.  It was really hard work putting that patio in, and I was a bit younger with a bit of a stronger back back then.  I just couldn't imagine having to try to repair all the damage after they tore it up.  So, I spent the night (and the next several days) angst-ing over it.  

This adorable little bunny thought he was invisible!

The last time I had had to call the phone company, they were on regular 8-5 hours, so I thought I would have to wait until the next morning to make an appointment for them to come out to fix it for me.  Surprise!  Technology can be a wonderful thing.  I now know you can call 24/7!  Wish I had known that BEFORE I waited until after 8 the next morning to call, it probably would have taken less time that night to get through!  I thought it would be a 15-20 minute call to make an appointment for them to come out and repair the line and maybe a day or two wait for them to get there!  Surprise, again!  Technology can also be a curse, I hate phone trees!  It took 4 calls and over an hour to make the appointment for them to come out, only to be told it would take a week, A WEEK! ! ! ! to get here!  AND, they would only say they would be there sometime between 8am & 5pm.  Well, that narrows it down, doesn't it?  Holey-moley!  A week without phone or internet!  That should be considered some kind of inhumane punishment!  

Oh . . . four calls you ask?  Wel-l-l-l-l, the first one took probably 15 minutes of pushing selections on the phone tree only to get a recording that said a check of my lines was inconclusive.  They couldn't tell if it was on their end or in my house.  But, a couple more mins on the phone and a few more buttons and I get a recording telling me I could maybe save some time by checking the line myself.  All I would need is a screwdriver.  Just go to the phone box outside and remove the cover and plug in a phone to see if it works.  Yeah, right . . .

They didn't say whether I needed a flathead or phillips, so I took both and guess what? . . .  it took neither.  I needed a wrench, so I went to find one and tried again.  But, it just wouldn't come off.  I got a bit frustrated and gave up and went back in to call back from my cell phone again (how did we live pre-cell? ? ? ?)  After going through all those stupid phone tree things again, I finally got one that said to speak to a representative, press (whatever it was), I did . . . and got nothing.  Total silence.  I didn't know if I was on hold or had gotten into a no-man's land where no call is ever picked up.  Should I hang up and lose my place in line and have to start all over, or hang in there only to find out I would be on hold forever?  After 2 more mins, I finally decided to hang up and try again.  Third call . . .  I finally, finally got a real live person and everything was going pretty well, but then I was asked for my cell number so they could forward my calls from the home line to my cell while I was without service and so the repairman would have a number to call just before he arrived.  Well, since I only use it for emergencies, I don't really know what my number is and since I was on the phone, I couldn't look it up.  I was nearly panic-stricken because I couldn't bear to go through the phone tree AGAIN!  I was nearly frantic when I asked the guy if there was another number I could call so I didn't have to go through all that again.  He said sure, just call this number and select for repair and about that time I recalled that I had written my number down and asked him to wait a moment while I checked and then . . . the call got dropped.  sigh . . .  As it turned out, I didn't have it written down (and, yes . . . I do now) so it gave me a chance to look it up before I called back.  Well . . . to be blunt, he fibbed about being able to get right back through.  It was not that simple, it was another phone tree and the options he told me were not the options given, and so it took another 13 mins to get another real live person again.  And, as I found out later, they did not end up forwarding my home calls to my cell.  I sure hope no one else has to go through this!  It is brutal!

Anyway, when the repair guy got here and only had to replace a few wires in the phone box and was done in less than 1/2 hour AND he made sure I had phone and internet again, I almost kissed him!  Oh, and he said that particular box wasn't made for me to take the cover off myself, so that recording was . . . well, wrong. Now, it may have had something to do with my hysterical tears of joy to have my internet back!  Or, it could have been my hanging on him and thanking him over and over and over, and begging that he never leave me, but for some reason, it seemed he couldn't wait to escape.  Ok, in all honesty, I don't really think I scared him that badly!   . . .  I don't think . . .  But, it's ok . . . I have internet again! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh . . . . . . . . . .  :-)

Well, during this time, I had planned on going to the Kinetic Sculpture Race.  And, that is what this post was originally supposed to be about, but sometimes, things don't always work out the way you plan them!  We don't usually get rain this early in the year, but that morning I woke up to rain.  Since I had no internet that weekend, I didn't have a way to check to see if there was a phone number or something I could call/use to check to see if it was rained out or if it was going on anyway.  It could have been just fine up there, weather-wise.  I just had to decide whether or not to drive the 2 hours up and take a chance on it being cancelled or not.  I decided that if it was going on, and if it was raining, I didn't really want to be standing out in the rain anyway, and that if I did go and it was raining, the photos would probably be a little gloomy-looking.  And then there would be the long drive home in rain.  So, I ended up staying home, and so, of course, it ended up clearing up fairly quickly and it probably would have been a great time . . . but, by then it was too late to start out, I would have missed most of it.  So, I will put this one on my list of things to check out . . .  next time.  And I will check out their site later to see the pics of this year's entries.

Once I got my internet back and was able to check my email, I discovered I had received an email from my cousin from over on her 9 acre farm.  She was telling me all about all her winter preparations.  Honestly, she made me feel totally exhausted telling me all about everything she had to do to be ready for the snow.  She told me about all the firewood that still needs to be chopped, the pipes that need to be wrapped in heat blankets, all the tires that need to be changed out for snow tires, the big gardens that need to be dressed with goat berries, yadda, yadda, yadda.  Phewwwww! ! !  I had to sit down and rest for a day or two, my head was spinning so fast! ! ! 

But, don't worry, I assured her that I knew JUST what she was going through as I, also, had just finished all MY winter preparations, too.  I had taken my air conditioner out of the window and put it in the shed . . .  I think that's probably about the time she made a funny gurgling sound, that . . . come to think of it . . . may have been a . . .  a . . .  a sort of . . . growl.   Hmmmm . . . wonder what THAT was all about?    :-)    Sorry, cuz!  But, as a consolation, I promise to try not to mention our 70 degree weather when you're having your -70 degree weather! ! !    ;-)    Of course, you can always just post all those pics of the gorgeous scenery in your neck of the woods to retaliate!  Your pics of Grand Coulee were really nice (and I liked the Windmill Garden, too!)!  If you haven't already stopped by her place, you might want to meander over and check it out!  And even if you have stopped by, you might want to swing by again, there's a lot to check out there!

Well, I think that is enough for this post.  Checking my calendar, it doesn't appear there are any events coming up in the near future, but I'll keep my eyes open, just in case!  Although, I really should pretend to be a grown up and stay home for a while and take care of a few things around the house one of these days!  But, so I don't neglect my blog (if nothing else) I took a drive up to Canada a few years ago and I have some really nice pics and a couple of stories to share from that trip, so maybe I can regale you with some of those tales later!  Hope you enjoyed our little stroll through the Bolsa Chica wetlands!  Talk to you soon!  Take care!

Building My Patio - Part 2

Corner intersection of the two planters in front of the lattice.  The overlap section is
built up a little higher than the other two legs to be able to add a little height in the corner.

Ok, so, I previously left you waiting breathlessly to hear what happened after I had finished the brick planters on my patio.  Ok, you can take a breath now, I won't keep you in suspense any longer!  (Oh my, you were getting a little blue around your ears!)

Well, after I got those in, I was pretty pleased that they were mostly straight and level!  Definitely a plus after all the work and physical sacrifices to get them in!  It got a little slow going after the loss of the fingertips, but eventually, I did finish!  And I was pretty darn happy with the results!

So, now I turned my attention to the raised area I wanted for my future table and chairs.  I used a rope to define where the edge of that area was going to be and set about filling the area with a little soil and trying to pack it down a bit.  When I had picked up the bull-nosed bricks I wanted for the edging I asked if they would cut each of them in half for me.  Thank goodness they do do that sort of thing!  For a fee, of course!  I would never have been able to cut them myself, so I was at their mercy!  Thank you, thank you!  That particular trip all I was picking up was those bricks, it turned out to be one of the lightest loads I had picked up since starting this project!  I swear the car smiled with relief as we drove away!

Here is a photo of the flagstone and edging just laid out
for placement before I had the planters built.

This go-round with my mortar skills in laying the edging seemed to go much better than it had with the planters!  Once the edging was in and drying, I started laying out the edging for the sides of my patio for real this time.  Previously I had just laid the brick down to get an idea of where everything was going to go.  Now, I had to get serious about getting the bricks down straight and level and I wanted them right on the ground before the sand went down to try to help hold the sand in place.  So, I laid some 2x4s down and held them in place with some shims pounded into the ground every so often and started laying the brick end to end along side them.  I'm sure someone who knows what they are doing would have had an easier solution, but it worked for me . . . eventually!   ;-)   It definitely took me a long while to get what I wanted, but finally, it was ready for me to put the sand down and get the sandstone laid!

So, I get into my handy-dandy delivery vehicle and head off to rent a pick up truck for the sand.  I put a tarp down before they dropped the scoop of sand into the bed.  Thank goodness!  Because let me tell you, by the time I got through with scooping 3/4 ton of sand out of the bed of that thing I was exhausted!  I did not have enough energy to then turn around and wash the darn thing before I returned it, too!  

At the time, I weighed a little bit less than 3/4 ton myself, and in comparison with all that sand, I felt like an ant trying to move a mountain - one grain at a time!  I scooped for what seemed like hours and had ALMOST made a dent in that pile of sand.  I swear, every time I shoveled a bit out, someone backfilled double that amount!  It was a cruel trick!  I stopped for lunch.  I came back out.  And nearly cried!  There was still sooooooo much sand left!  I thought that when I got down to the last little bit I would be able to fold up the sides of the tarp and lift it on out. LOLOL!  That really makes me laugh thinking about that now!  Silly girl!  Sand weighs way more than you might think!  There was NOOOOO way I was ever going to be able to lift any real amount of sand out of that truck!  What a silly coo-coo head I was! ! !  Well, anyway, about 5 years (oooops!  I mean hours) later, I finally finished scooping the sand out and got the truck returned.  Oh, . . . by the way, did I mention that when I had backed the truck in, I couldn't get close enough to scoop the sand directly into the patio area?  :-)  

I'll bet you can guess what comes next!  Yep, I then had to scoop all that sand to where I really wanted it and get it sort of leveled off once there!   (sigh . . . .)  Are you SURE I don't get ANY kind of prize for moving the equivalent of 3,000 pounds of sand all by myself? ? ? ? ?

Ok, so now I have all the sand where I need it.  It is . . . sort of leveled out.  Now I can get the flagstone down.  I had laid it all out before I got the sand down, so I had things pretty much in order where I needed it to go and was able to get most of it in place without toooo much trouble.  But, thank goodness none of the neighbors got any video (that I know of!) of me wrestling with those slabs of stone , some of which I think must have weighed almost as much as I did.  There was one piece in particular that just would NOT cooperate.  It was, of course, the largest, most awkward piece in the bunch.  I must have tried to get it down and level no less than 30 times.  It was so heavy I had an extremely difficult time picking it up and maneuvering it into place.  I would get it down and it wouldn't be level and then I'd have to struggle to get it picked back up.  Then I would get to try to balance it on end with one hand, while trying to smooth the sand back out from where it got dug out from trying to pick it up and fix the leveling issue, all with the other hand.  And all that while trying to keep it from dropping on my toes or fingers or . . . head, for that matter!  Over and over and over again, until it was . . . well, . . . darn close enough.  Meaning, I simply didn't have the strength or energy to keep trying and honestly, truth be told, no one but myself would probably even notice it wasn't perfect.

When I finished that day, I looked around.  And even though I was feeling pretty beat up and exhausted, I had to smile.   

I.   Had.   Done.   It!    

My patio was essentially done!  Well, . . . at least the hard parts were done!  All I had to do now was fill the pond, select the plants, fill the planters with soil and get them planted, and fill in around the flagstone and get those spaces planted!  It was all good!  And then I dragged myself inside, got cleaned up and celebrated with a nice glass of wine and then . . . collapsed.  It's was going to be a    looooong   while before I tackled that long brick planter I had planned for along the driveway! ! !    :-)

Here are a few more pictures another one of the beginning stage of my pond and a close-up  of the blooms from the pond plants and a view of the lattice and my arch!  The baby tears moss did eventually fill in and cover most of the edge of the pond!

And finally,  . . .  time to enjoy the results of my labors!  Decaf Paradise Tropical Sun Tea!  Yummmmmm! ! ! !

Until the next time! ! !  :-)

Building My Patio - Part 1

My patio - the almost finished version.

Well, hello again!  In our previous chat, I had mentioned that building my patio was a story for another time.  I think now is as good a time as any to at least begin the tale with the first stage of that project.  

I had just moved into my new place and was anxious to put my own little stamp on it.  I planned and measured and dreamed and somehow managed to convince myself that even though I had never tackled any project of this nature, or had any experience with construction of any sort, or had even watched any projects of this nature being built by anyone else, that I would be able to do all of this myself.  Though I don't remember being able to watch him in action, construction was in my grandfather's blood, so maybe it somehow got into my genes, too?  But, I mean, how hard could it be, right?  A couple of nails here, a little mortar there, lay the stone like so, a little sweat labor and voila - paradise created!  Right? Hahahahaha!

I had a little tiny area for my patio, about 10' by 14'.  I had inherited it with an already laid floor made up of 12" square red pavers.  They were a little uneven and it was just kind of drab with a few bedraggled weeds poking through here and there.  But, when I looked at that barren little area, I saw a tall white lattice fence along two sides strewn with pale pink climbing roses, or honeysuckle, or jasmine, or morning glories or maybe even a nice red bougainvillea.  I just couldn't decide what I wanted most and decided to leave those types of details for later.  And, in front of the lattice walls, I saw warm yellowish-reddish-orangeish brick planters filled with plants and flowers.  And tucked in the corner at their junction, a raised area with a little patio table and a couple of chairs where I could relax at the end of a long day and enjoy a glass of fresh-squeezed peach lemonade (the recipe I use is at the end of this post) or a nice glass of wine and dinner.  Under my feet, I pictured a floor of pale yellow buckskin flagstone interspersed with irish or scottish moss or creeping thyme or perhaps baby tears moss. Again, I just couldn't decide, well, there'd be plenty of time for that later.  In the corner "kitty-corner" opposite from the table area, I wanted a quiet, peaceful little pond with a little fountain cascading soothing water sounds.  And, perhaps a two-seater glider or a little free-standing swing against one wall of the lattice directly opposite the pond (right next to the raised area for the table).  Someplace to relax and read a book or just while away an afternoon in quiet contemplation.  I know, I know, I said the area was only about 10' by 14', but on paper, it looked like it should work, a little snug, but do-able . . .    :-)

So, I started making my lists.  Lists for what would I need to get for the lattice walls and to hold them up and in place.  What I would need to get for the brick planters and for the edging.  What I would need for the pond and the flagstone.  From brick to stone, 2x4s to lattice panels, concrete to mortar, screws to basket hangers and all the tools and accoutrements needed to accomplish all the tasks at hand.  And then I began shopping to see what kind of lattice would be available, what types and colors of brick and flagstone were available, the sizes things came in and started pricing things out.  I decided I had to have white lattice and as I mentioned before, I had my heart set on some yellowish, reddish, orangeish bricks, and some yellowish golden buckskin sandstone flagstone and was delighted to be able to find exactly what I had envisioned!

And bit by bit, I accumulated most of what I would need, although some of it would be purchased as I discovered I needed it.  I carted it all home, trip after trip after trip in my poor little car.  You would have thought I had a truck based on my purchases, and the looks on some of those employees faces when I pulled up and said "Load 'er up!", were priceless.  WHAT? ? ?  C'mon, you're telling me you've never see a Toyota Celica pick up truck before? ? ?  I can't tell you how many trips it took just to get all the brick and flagstone home.  And, to this day, I can not tell you how I managed to get those four 4'x8' lattice frames home.  I must have tied them to the top of that thing, but really I just can't imagine it working, the car was so small!  The poor little thing was loaded with so much stuff, the frame was practically riding on the wheels!  But, what a trooper!  She made every last trip without a hitch, though some of it was pretty slow going!   And on a couple of bumps, I could have sworn I saw some chunks of rubber tires go flying.

I think I was becoming a little famous or infamous, depending on your point of view, around the suppliers I visited (and I suspect I provided them with more than enough fodder for stories with which they regaled their friends over beer).  Could you cut these bricks as marked for me?  What kind of cement do I need?  Can you pour the cement into smaller containers for me?  Can you cut the 2x4s?   Can I please just look through one more stack of flagstone to find just the pieces I want?  And so on.  And the look I got when I was discussing how much sand I would need for my little project (which was 3/4 ton, by the way)!  The guy kept glancing dubiously at my car.  I'm pretty sure he thought I was going to try to load her up with sand!  I could hear him telling his buddies now, "That kook was back again and this time she wanted a scoop of sand in her trunk."  I was so tempted to ask him how many trips he thought it would take in my vehicle to move 3/4 ton of sand, just to see his reaction, but I managed to fight the urge.  I did take pity on the poor car and rented an actual pick up for that job.  I didn't want to have to try to clean sand out of the trunk carpet . . . 

I stacked all the 2x4s and lattice in the back.  I had bricks and flagstone stacked as neatly as possible in my driveway.  Stuff was everywhere!

I started trying to figure out in which order things would have to be done so I didn't end up with a problem and have to tear something out and have to redo it later.  After all, it would have been extremely difficult for me to have put the brick planters in before I put up the walls behind them.  (The walls were to hide the sheds bordering those two sides of the patio area, so I couldn't put them up from that side.)  And I decided it would be easier to buy a preformed pond rather than trying to free-form my own, but in hindsight . . . I'm not so sure it actually was easier!  With a free-form pond, you don't have to try to dig a hole that nearly exactly matches anything . . . except the shape you want.  However, after all the visits from the marauding raccoon that I told you about in my previous post, the preformed pond turned out to be the best choice for me!  At least he couldn't poke holes in it like he may have been able to do if I had used a flexible plastic liner.

So, anyway, it was a no-brainer that the first thing I needed to do was pull up the existing pavers and level the ground.   But, instead of building up the low areas, I decided to try to scrape off the high areas.  (If you're taking notes, please make sure to mark this next thing down as a "DON'T do it".)  What I learned:  Always make sure your patio area is a little higher than the surrounding areas.    :-)    Why is that you ask?  Well, you'll have less of a big pond to wade through later when it rains . . .  Oh, . . . and while we're at it, . . . there's this lovely stuff called sand that makes it much, much easier to level things out than trying to level out hard-packed dirt with a spoon.  Ok, I didn't really use a spoon, I just made that up, but the experience certainly felt like that's what I used.

Then I began laying things out in the area just to get an idea of how it was going to look and fit and to give me a better idea of where to start.  Looking around, I realized that I would need to get the lattice fence up first.  Then get the planters built.  And then lay out the brick border before I can put the sand down and level it off.  But, I also wanted to get the pond in so I could more accurately determine where that border would be and keep from messing up anything else while digging the hole for it.  And I realized I would have to figure out something to keep the brick edging straight as I put it down.

Early stages of planning and layout.  What a mess!

So, first up, I decided to get all the holes dug.  One for the pond and some for the 2x4 posts to hold the lattice walls.  So, off to the big-box DIY store I go to buy a post-hole digger and the pond in my big delivery vehicle.  

What a marvelous invention those post hole diggers are!  I actually had a lot of fun digging those holes!  That is, until I got to the last one.  (Get your pencils ready, this is another DON'T I learned the hard way . . . This is an important one!)  Do not dig ANYTHING until you call USA first!  So, there I was, feeling pretty good, thinking this is actually kind of a piece of cake, I'm down to the last hole and all of the sudden, I noticed these black thingys down in the hole.  I stopped and peered in a little closer . . . what the . . . heck? ? ?  Wires?  What are wires doing down there? ? ?  Well . . . scratching my head, I reasoned I was still standing, so it couldn't have been electric.  Maybe they were just left over from some other project way in the past?  While I was puzzling over it, I got a bad feeling.  I went inside and slowly picked up the phone and put it up to my ears.  Sure enough.  Deathly silence, there was no dial tone.  Over to the neighbors I go to borrow their phone.

It is a bit hard to see the wires - but, there is a black, J shape along the right and bottom
side of the hole, and two lighter colored wires coming down from the top right of the hole.

The phone company comes out, checks things out and tells me that I was extremely lucky.  Apparently, I had just missed the gas line by about a 1/2".  They gave me the "call before you dig" lecture, then proceeded to widen that hole to the size of the Grand Canyon so they could sit comfortably on the side of it to fix the line.  Don't get me wrong.  I was very appreciative that they came out so quickly.  And that they didn't charge me (though they explained just how steep the fine could have been . . . YIKES! . . . if I pulled this stunt again, next time I would be extremely poor at the end of it) but, dang, did they have to make the hole THAT big just to put a couple little lines back together!

After they left, I set about filling the hole back in, but not too much!  I still had to get the post in! (I suppose if I'm here long enough, I'll find out one day that I encased the phone line in cement when I seated the post.)  

Well, anyway, I am finally ready to seat the posts.  So, off I go to the home store to get some concrete.  Who knew there were so many choices!  What in the world did I need? Fortunately, there was a kind gentleman there who took pity on me and was extremely polite and helpful.  Though, I suspect deep down he was trying desperately to refrain from bursting into laughter and was already planning on how he would be able to entertain his buddies over cold beers with stories of the blond who came in that day.  I can hear it now, "So, this blond comes in . . ."  But, he remained very polite and professional and even gallantly helped pour the bags of cement into some plastic containers I had brought in because I suspected I would not be able to lift the bags as they were.  I was right.  

He said all I would have to do is pour the cement in the holes and then pour in the water and let it set.  So, I did.  I nailed a string to each side of the top of a 2x4 and hung washers on the other ends to aid in getting the posts plumb and poured the cement in, making sure the washers were hanging right along the post on all sides and then braced the post in position and poured the water in.  While it began to dry I went on to the next one, putting one of the lattice frames in between to get the spacing right.  One by one until they were all in.  Easy as pie!  Once the cement dried, I painted the posts and put up the lattice frames between them, securing them to the posts with screws.  I have to admit, I thought it did look pretty nice when it was done.  The tops were even pretty darn close to being perfectly level!  Woohoo!  Bring it on!  Get me a construction job!  I must admit, I was a bit impressed with myself!  Maybe I do have grandpa's construction genes after all!

Ok, now for the pond.  Off I go in my Celica truck and pick out my pond and grab a few bags of sand to fill in around the edges once the pond is in place.  Once home, I set the pond in place, trace it's contours in the dirt and grabbed the shovel . . .  and then I remembered my previous digging lesson and called USA.  It took them a couple of days to come out, but they approved the area I planned to dig, so then I dug and dug and dug.  And dug.  And then, dug some more.  Funny thing, hard-packed dirt apparently does not want to be dug.  And who put those roots in the way anyway? ? ?  I'm pretty sure they were made of steel.  I grab the post hole digger and use it to break stuff up a bit and then try to smooth it out a bit with the shovel.  I set the pond in to see if it works.  Nope, not nearly deep enough.  Dig, dig, dig.  Now?  Nope, not yet . . . still not deep enough.  Dig, dig, dig . . .  NOW? ? ? ?  Nope, keep going!  You gotta be kidding me!  By now, I feel like I am digging through cement with a feather.  Not getting anywhere fast.  I try setting the pond in again.  Finally!  Well, at least close enough.  So what if the top of the pond is about an inch above the ground.  Once the baby tears moss is in, who will know? ? ?  So, I put the pond in, level it up, pour some sand in around it to fill in the gaps between it and the dirt and snug it into place.  I try to mound up a little dirt around the top to close the gap, and I'm good to go!

This is my little pond in one of it's early stages.  See, there
really isn't enough room for a raccoon to swim in it! 

Ok, I'm on a roll now!  Let's lay some brick for those planters in front of that pretty lattice wall!  Off to the DIY store.  Same gentleman as before gets to help me pick out something to secure the bricks in place.  He shows me what I need and again, very helpfully pours the mortar mix into the plastic containers I brought.  The powder went everywhere.  What a mess he had to clean up when we were all done!  I hope no one dropped their drink!  Then he says "Just add water, mix it well, scoop some mortar onto the brick with a trowel and set it in place and scrape the excess off before it dries so it looks nice, even and concave between the bricks."  "Great!  Sounds easy!  How much water?" I ask.  He looks at me and says "Until it is the right consistency."  "Great!  What is that?" I reply.  He blinks and looks at me, and then blinks and looks as me some more, apparently taken a little aback that I shouldn't already know this, or perhaps he just didn't know how to describe it.  So, I ask helpfully, "Like peanut butter?"  "No, no not that thick."  "Like a milkshake?"  "Yes, that's it," he says happily smiling from ear to ear, "just like a thick, chocolate milkshake!"

So I get home and start to work.  I mix up the mortar and start slathering away.  Too bad he didn't tell me to use the handle of the trowel to smooth out the mortar between the bricks.  (Ok, here is another DON'T . . .  This is another really big don't.  It's important!)  Do NOT use your fingers to wipe off the excess mortar between the bricks.  Mortar is made of sand.  Sand, like in sand paper.  And surprisingly, just like when people use water to keep things from getting too hot and to keep the friction down when they are sanding some things, when your fingers are wet, you don't realize that your fingers are being sanded down.  So, when I stopped that day . . .  That long, long day, where I sat on the ground, laying brick after heavy brick.  And moved more piles of heavy brick over to the work area as I ran out of piles of heavy bricks.  I was tired.  And dirty.  And very, very sore.  My back was apparently the only part of my body left, because, at that point, that was all I could feel.  And it felt . . . BAD.  I crawled up the steps to the house, slithered into the bathroom.  And took a shower.  A nice, long hot shower.  And when I dried off, I experienced the worst pain my fingers have ever known.  I looked down.  And right where all my fingertips should have been, there was nothing but bloody stubs.  So, here is my two-part lesson in bricklaying . . . do NOT use your fingers to smooth away ANY excess mortar; and bricklayers, no matter what they make, do not get paid enough.

I probably should have taken advantage of that period in my life where I could have committed all sorts of crime and not have left any fingerprints, but I didn't.  I mean how often does one lose one's fingerprints?  The answer is, twice . . . well, ok maybe three times.  Apparently, some people are just slower learners than others.  We won't mention any names here, but don't blame my mom, she tried really, really hard.  You just have to look at what she had to work with!  Sorry, mom, sometimes I just ain't the brightest bulb on the porch!  

But the fun did not stop there!  This is just where I will leave off for now.  To be continued . . . 

Fresh-Squeezed Peach Lemonade

1 C Lemon Juice

1 C Sugar

4 C Water

Peach Nectar to taste (I usually use Kern's)

Wash your lemons.  While the lemons are still whole, it is easier to zest them, so cut, peel or zest some of the rind, avoiding as much of the bitter white pith as possible.  Squeeze your lemons.  Pour the lemon juice into a pitcher with 3 cups of the water and refrigerate. Put the sugar and the remaining cup of water in a small saucepan with the zest and bring to a boil, stirring occasionally. Let cool, strain and pour into the lemon juice.  Add peach nectar to taste.

For a pretty presentation, rim the glass with lemon juice and then dip in sugar.  Add ice and a couple of very thin lemon slices and pour in the lemonade.  Garnish with mint.  Yummmm!

Rascally Raccoons . . .

The Masked Marauding Pond Wrecker - That Rascally Raccoon!

Meet my nemesis.  Cute, isn't he?  Now, I want you to know that I am an animal lover.  Always have been, always will be.  Heck, I won't even eat an animal.  But . . .  honestly, this guy is severely testing my limits.  His (or her? ? ?) name is Pond Wrecker (PW).  I can't tell you how many times he has vandalized my pond.  Now I really, really don't mind sharing what I have with the wildlife, but enough is enough!  I live in an urban area and wildlife is kind of a novelty.  I embrace and welcome as wide a diversity of wildlife visiting my little corner of the world as I possibly can.  I actually don't feel I get enough, though one of these days I am going to start keeping track of just how many different kinds of "friends" do show up.

So, initially, I thought it was kind of cool to see the little critters around.  I never fed them, just appreciated that they were here.  That is, until I put all the work into building a teeny pond for my patio (building the patio is a whole 'nother story I'll tell you about someday  :-)   ).  Granted my pond is just a little 50 gallon pre-formed plastic doo-hickey.  But, it was a lot of work digging the spot, putting the sand in around the sides and getting it settled just right, etc. . .  So, the first time I went out there and saw my little pond emptied out and floating in the hole it was supposed to be occupying, I was a tad bit irritated, to say the least, but I didn't realize at the time exactly what had happened.  But, you see, ol' PW had so much fun splashing around in that little bit of water that he had knocked the fountain right out of the pond and it spent all night pumping all the water out of the pond.  It lay there pumping nothing but air while all that water just flowed right back under the pond liner and turned it into a sad little forlorn-looking boat bobbing along.

So, once all the water soaked back into the ground, down on my hands and knees I went.  I patiently patted the sand back into place and tugged and pushed and cajoled the little pond back into it's spot and got it all cleaned up and leveled again, and everything put back in order and filled it up.  It took hours to get it all finished, and, oh, my aching back by the time I was done.

Two days later, I go out to see the pond all torn up . . . again.  The waterlillies, which had already taken a beating from the first visit were nearly non-existent.  The basket they were planted in had been turned upside down.  There were little bits of torn leaves and stems floating everywhere.  The other basket of water plants was knocked off it's perch.  This time the fountain had been unceremoniously dumped into the middle of the pond.  So, I was glad that at least the water hadn't been drained out leaving the pump to burn itself up, but, when I tried to clean the muck out of the bottom . . . well, let's just say it turned out that the water was not my friend after all.  So . . . then I had to drain the pond myself to clean the bottom . . . . back on my hands and knees forever, reaching down into the pond to scoop the water out as the pump is sooooo slow.  Filling a bucket and then hauling it away from the area to pour over some plants far away so it doesn't fill the hole preventing me from putting the liner back in place.

Finally, everything is set right, the pond filled again and if I thought my back was aching from the first go round . . . that was nothing to what I was going through the 2nd time.  I thought I was ready for a stretcher.  (By the time I got to the 10th or 12th round, I couldn't move for days . . .)

After a few more bouts of these types of go-rounds I decided I needed to do something about this varmint once and for all.  All of the sudden, he really wasn't so cute anymore.  I started having some very dark thoughts about how I could negatively impact his future.  I began searching remedies on the web.  I could find nothing to give me any hope.  "Pepper" type sprays for animals, motion sensor water sprays, and all sorts of things that just didn't seem like they were going to offer any real practical solution for my needs.  Especially after reading the reviews on some of the products.  Seems raccoons are an extremely cunning and adaptable enemy.

So, I get this idea to build a cage.  No, . . . not for PW, for my pond.  It sounded like a good idea.  And, if I were at all skilled with building things, it might have been a great idea.  But, as it is, it kinda looks like . . . well, let's just say it just didn't come out looking very good at all.  I just took a bunch of 2x2s and cut them to size and built a box-type frame and covered it with chicken wire.  Then to keep the wire along the ground between the legs straight and not so easy to bend to slip under, I wove some long garden stakes through the wire.  Not at all attractive, BUT . . . it did cover the pond.   And, I thought if it worked, someday I would try to make something that would be a little less of an eyesore.  After all, what good is having a pond to enjoy if it looks like a bedraggled chicken coop? ? ?

Well, about the time I was congratulating myself on my bright idea . . . I went out and discovered that ol' rascal PW had returned again and had managed to pull up one of the sides enough he could squeeze through and had, once again, destroyed the pond.  So, back on my hands and knees . . . again . . . and back to the drawing board, frothing at the mouth and mumbling some not so kind wishes for the little darlin' and feeling more like the hunchback of Notre Dame than ever.

Looking around for more inspiration on ways to solve this problem once and for all, I found these cute little metal garden edgers that look like little mini fences.  So I got enough of them to put them up around the pond cage.  But, he just pulled them away and got in under the cage . . . . . . . . . . . . . again.    

A caged pond with decorative fenced edging peeking out at the
bottom of the frame - almost raccoon proof!

So, someone suggested a Havahart trap and I was just hoping that if I did have luck catching him, it would be on a night where I had the next day off so I could drive him to a nice country location away from all these nasty cars . . . . and, . . . well . . . my pond.  But, as luck would have it, that rascally raccoon just wouldn't go into that trap, no matter what I put in it as bait.  No, he was much too smart to go through the door, he simply reached through the side and pulled the goodies out from there.  The only thing I caught was a baby 'posum, and that was about it.  (I felt really bad about his forced separation from his mommy and let him go to go try to find mama.  Hope you found her little guy! ! ! !)  After that, the trap just took up space along side the growing fortress as an additional barrier to try to prevent him from getting in.

Late one night as I was getting ready for bed, I heard a slight noise on that side of the house that made me stop for a moment.  I almost passed it off as my imagination, but something told me to go have a look see.  I popped my head out the door and saw his little face peeping out at me from the pond.  And off I went, screeching down the steps in my pajamas, hair a flyin' and arms akimbo, and just as quickly, he slipped under the cage and took off down the street, with me chasing wildly after him, threatening him to within an inch of his life.  If any of the neighbors were up and had witnessed this bizarre event, I'm sure they would have fallen asleep with tears of laughter on their faces.  I don't really know what I would have done if I'd actually caught up with him, but I chased him for a bit, hoping at the very least the fear of me chasing him again would stop him from returning.  (But, I'll bet the neighbors put more food out for him on purpose after that to try to get a bit more free entertainment out of it!  hmmmmmm, perhaps I should start scanning those YouTube posts a little more closely!)

If all he did was get in, splash around a little, and then get back out, there wouldn't be a problem, I would be more than happy to share and would even take some delight in being able to contribute to his pleasure.  I'd probably go around bragging about MY raccoon.  But, alas, that is not what he does!  He creates a HUGE amount of work, and usually at a time I am overloaded with other things that need immediate attention as well, and it takes hours to repair the damages he makes in just a few minutes.

Anyway, by now, my back is begging me to just give up and fill the pond back in.  But, no . . .  I   AM   GOING   TO   WIN   this battle.  So, now, in addition to the cage and the fencing . . . . I have added more garden stakes woven down through the chicken wire and down through the metal fencing and into the ground about every 6 to 8 inches or so.

It has been a few years now since the battles first began and I thought I had finally won . . . but a couple of weeks ago . . . I went out to find the pond destroyed . . . yet again . . . (sigh).  I was stumped at how he had gotten in this time . . . and then I finally saw it . . . he had pulled a corner of the chicken wire right out of the nails in the wood.  What the heck? ? ? ?  Next thing you know he'll be coming in with some tin snips . . . .  So, just how big and strong has this guy gotten! ! ! ! !  Somebody must be feeding him some serious Wheaties! ! ! !      ;-)

So, what kind of raccoon wars have you had?  Did you win? ? ? ?  I'd love you hear your stories!